Bonding with the Adult Rescue Dog

This is from an article I wrote for mokan bc rescue. If anyone has something to add, please let me know.

Carolyn was frustrated. The lovely 6 yr old border collie she had rescued was not the affectionate, loyal companion she had expected. In all fairness, he was housebroken, gentle, walked nicely on lead and good with the cat; but it was something else. He would come forward, take a treat and back away. In the evenings, he would lay behind a chair and stare at her as only a border collie can. He approached her to bring a tennis ball, or to go out, but not for comfort. He frankly seemed better friends with the cat. Why didn't he seem to like Carolyn?

The species from which dogs are descended, the wolf, closes its socialization window at about 4-6 months of age. After that period, they rarely allow anyone else in their circle of friends. Luckily, the dog remains pliable enough to accept others to bond at any age, but after adulthood, it can take longer. How long? That depends on many factors, the age of the dog, prior experiences, temperament and the owners ability to provide consistent leadership and interaction. Sometimes dogs give their hearts with the first bowl of kibble; others may take longer. Here are 5 things you can do to help.

1. Be the stable thing in your dogs environment. Take him everywhere you can, a walk in the park, a stroll on a nature trail and errands the next day. Be the predictable thing he can count on being there. You must become a pack of two, facing life's challenges together.


2. Obedience train. Even if your dog is well behaved, obedience training is the single best method of increasing the bond with your dog and learning to communicate in ways he can understand. An obedience trained dog is welcome in more places and has more freedom in the home. Be careful to work only with positive motivation, ethical trainers.


3. Use a house lead in the beginning to keep the dog with you and in contact. This is a 6 - 10 foot lead that attaches to a buckle collar. Hold the other end, tuck it under your foot, or loop it onto your belt. If you get up to get a drink of water, the dog goes too. This is also a great method for keeping dogs out of trouble until the house rules are learned.


4. Touch your dog and speak to him often. The need for touch is just now being recognized for its psychological benefits; an unspoken reassurance in many species, not just dogs and humans.


5. Play with your dog. This does not mean sit in a chair and toss a squeaky toy a few times, but get up, give your dog your full attention and have a really good game of tug or fetch. Smile, laugh, genuinely have good time.

Carolyn wisely put all five of these tips to use. Some owners know the moment their dog realizes he is home, but not Carolyn. She does remember the first time she said his name and he wagged his tail. "I knew we were on the right track," she said. She thinks in this case bonding was a process that took place over time. She says, "we sort of bonded with each other."

Today, Carolyn states she brings her border collie to nursing homes and still attends classes. Each morning he watches her get ready for the day, patiently awaiting a kiss on his nose. He dozes in the evenings with his head on her foot, so he knows if she moves and he can be there, living a good life with his special human.

How to entertain a Dog

Another area I love to hear about is Environmental Enrichment Activities (EEAs) for dogs. It's just a long name for stuff to do. You may be familiar with techniques for dolphins like freezing fish in blocks of ice and they play with the new toy until they get the prize. Activities are often designed to mimick behaviors the animal would do in the wild, like hunt, dig, or tear up prey. EEAs provide outlets for animals that would lead lives of sheer boredom without them.

EEAs are chockfull of benefits for the dog and us. They can help a new dog bond, exercise, relieve stress, boredom and anxiety, and stimulates all kinds of good physical responses. It's a win-win situation for us both. Frankly, when I'm stuck in an article, Fez seems to know it and with a hopeful expression, brings me a toy. Two minutes of tossing Sheepie or Brown Bear and it's back to the keyboard refreshed.

"Oh boy, tire jump... my favorite!"

Dogs are easy because almost everything you do with them is an EEA. They are truly the original adventure animal. It's as if they think, "Oh boy, we're going to the mailbox...my favorite!" Five minutes later, it's "Oh boy, we're playing tug rope...my favorite!" They probably have their own action-adventure theme song.

Don't underestimate the relieving boredom factor. Most complaints of destruction from owners are boredom related. The dog is just looking for something to do. If we don't provide it, they will find an outlet themselves. As Sharon West of Westinn Kennels once said, "It's not that big of a deal to just throw a tennis ball around for a few minutes." There is no way to determine numbers, but there are probably tens of thousands of dogs put down each year for destructive behavior that would have been relieved with a few EEAs in their lives.

Here's a brief list of Fez and Duke's favorite EEAs.

• Take a walk in the park.
• Take a walk in a different park.
• Better yet, go to the dog park!
• Throw the Frisbee, Tennis Ball, Stick, Soccer Ball, or any launchable item.
• Do a nice agility course.
• Do it again. (see pic of Fez, above)
• Do some tricks training during television commercials.
• Have a nice massage.
• Play a "find it" game, where mom hides treats around the room.
• Shred an empty paper towel roll all over the living room.
• Chew on a stuffed Kong, CET chew, broccoli stalk or carrot.
• Go for trips to pick up the kid at school, gas up the car, or Home Depot.
• Even better, go through the fast food drive up.

Let me know what kinds of Environmental Enrichment Activities you provide for your dog. They may be simple behaviors, new products on the market, places to go, things to do. Share the EEA that makes your dog says, "Oh boy, my favorite!"

The Life Changing Dog

Every good dog person I know has had a Life Changing Dog. It may not be the first dog, or the best, they may not have even owned the dog, but it changed their life. Stories about these dogs may include those that saved their life, died tragically, or simply given them the unconditional love that we have all craved since childhood. In some cases, The Life Changing Dog has been the one that bridged a traumatic change in life, such as the loss of a loved one, or as one person told me, the loss of her legs.

The stories people have shared with me sometimes cover loneliness or abuse that had no ear other than what the dog provided. They felt free to share the secrets of their life to a non-judgemental and accepting friend. There was a kinship that came with the secret, knowing it would never be betrayed.

Most of the time, The Life Changing Dog brings out qualities that we already possess, but may not have come to the fore front of our persona. Many times, I've heard training students say they've come to believe in themselves, or can finally reach out because their dog has provided some sort of unspoken connection. There seems to be an empowerment that comes with a caring, an opening of a secret part of the soul. It became not about the dog, but about life, relationships, and overcoming fear.

Some anthropologists propose that we may have paralleled our lives with the canids for as long as 100,000 years, indeed that we may never have evolved without them. In some period, we went from utilizing the hunting skills of a wolf to the companion animals we have today. They are certainly our oldest cooperative relationship with another species.

In that time, we have created an animal that does not fare well without us. They still have so many characteristics of their ancestors, yet need us if not to survive, then certainly to thrive. We bred an animal that looks to us for leadership and care. I propose that in the same period in which we created the dog, we also created a human that is better off for having dogs in our lives. We lead longer, healthier and happier lives with a dog at our side. There are definite benefits from sharing our environment with this unrelated species.

In future posts, we can discuss dogs, training, the human-animal bond and the stories of our Life Changing Dogs. I'd like to hear yours, please tell me about them. What is the story? What did you learn? How did you change? Has your Life Changing Dog made you a better person, improved your world or taught you in their silent way, the important lessons of life?

I'd like to collect these into a volume. If I use your story, you'll get credit. Make sure you include an email or other contact information for a possible reply. I look forward to hearing from you and for being the collector if you will, of stories of The Life Changing Dog.