This is from an article I wrote for mokan bc rescue. If anyone has something to add, please let me know.
Carolyn was frustrated. The lovely 6 yr old border collie she had rescued was not the affectionate, loyal companion she had expected. In all fairness, he was housebroken, gentle, walked nicely on lead and good with the cat; but it was something else. He would come forward, take a treat and back away. In the evenings, he would lay behind a chair and stare at her as only a border collie can. He approached her to bring a tennis ball, or to go out, but not for comfort. He frankly seemed better friends with the cat. Why didn't he seem to like Carolyn?
The species from which dogs are descended, the wolf, closes its socialization window at about 4-6 months of age. After that period, they rarely allow anyone else in their circle of friends. Luckily, the dog remains pliable enough to accept others to bond at any age, but after adulthood, it can take longer. How long? That depends on many factors, the age of the dog, prior experiences, temperament and the owners ability to provide consistent leadership and interaction. Sometimes dogs give their hearts with the first bowl of kibble; others may take longer. Here are 5 things you can do to help.
Carolyn was frustrated. The lovely 6 yr old border collie she had rescued was not the affectionate, loyal companion she had expected. In all fairness, he was housebroken, gentle, walked nicely on lead and good with the cat; but it was something else. He would come forward, take a treat and back away. In the evenings, he would lay behind a chair and stare at her as only a border collie can. He approached her to bring a tennis ball, or to go out, but not for comfort. He frankly seemed better friends with the cat. Why didn't he seem to like Carolyn?
The species from which dogs are descended, the wolf, closes its socialization window at about 4-6 months of age. After that period, they rarely allow anyone else in their circle of friends. Luckily, the dog remains pliable enough to accept others to bond at any age, but after adulthood, it can take longer. How long? That depends on many factors, the age of the dog, prior experiences, temperament and the owners ability to provide consistent leadership and interaction. Sometimes dogs give their hearts with the first bowl of kibble; others may take longer. Here are 5 things you can do to help.
- Be the stable thing in your dogs environment. Take him everywhere you can, a walk in the park, a stroll on a nature trail and errands the next day. Be the predictable thing he can count on being there. You must become a pack of two, facing life's challenges together.
- Obedience train. Even if your dog is well behaved, obedience training is the single best method of increasing the bond with your dog and learning to communicate in ways he can understand. An obedience trained dog is welcome in more places and has more freedom in the home. Be careful to work only with positive motivation, ethical trainers.
- Use a house lead in the beginning to keep the dog with you and in contact. This is a 6 - 10 foot lead that attaches to a buckle collar. Hold the other end, tuck it under your foot, or loop it onto your belt. If you get up to get a drink of water, the dog goes too. This is also a great method for keeping dogs out of trouble until the house rules are learned.
- Touch your dog and speak to him often. The need for touch is just now being recognized for its psychological benefits; an unspoken reassurance in many species, not just dogs and humans.
- Play with your dog. This does not mean sit in a chair and toss a squeaky toy a few times, but get up, give your dog your full attention and have a really good game of tug or fetch. Smile, laugh, genuinely have good time.
Carolyn wisely put all five of these tips to use. Some owners know the moment their dog realizes he is home, but not Carolyn. She does remember the first time she said his name and he wagged his tail. "I knew we were on the right track," she said. She thinks in this case bonding was a process that took place over time. She says, "we sort of bonded with each other."
Today, Carolyn states she brings her border collie to nursing homes and still attends classes. Each morning he watches her get ready for the day, patiently awaiting a kiss on his nose. He dozes in the evenings with his head on her foot, so he knows if she moves and he can be there, living a good life with his special human.
